Letter from George Bush

I got a letter from Mr Bush today which I thought I should share with you good people:

Hi, you fat little Scottish Git!

Bushy here! Well, it's been quite a week. Oh, before I forget, thank you for all these bags of pretzels you've been sending me. They're much appreciated. Where was I? Oh yes. There's a lot of excitement here at the White House. I know they're all sad to see me going but they're pretending to be upbeat. They smile encouragingly at me as I pass then collapse in tears of laughter when they think I'm out of earshot. Thye're so sweet.

Actually, I need a rest. It gets tiring walking up and down these corridors trying to find someone who knows what's going on. Last week my speech writer was off sick. I had to say 'no comment' to everything all week. Embarrassing.

People ask me how I feel about Iraq. I say, it's a shame there were no weapons of mass destruction. That's why we had to bring them ourselves. Still, they seemed to work fine. People keep saying it was all about oil. That's why we invaded Iraq. I usually say to them: Come on now. You don't think I'm that clever, do you?

Actually, I can't wait to get back to Texas. I'm looking forward to some recreation. You know what they say: A bird on the Bush is worth two in the hand.

They ask me how I'll be remembered in history. The way I see it is that when Bush comes to shove, I can kick ass just like the next man. Kick! Oh yes, Sir, ya fatty Scotty.

It is a bit annoying that the next guy is more articulated than me. Still you can't have anything.

Bye bye Baby.

Bushy Boy

- So there you have it. Next please.