Bush and Blair Press Exclusive

1 August 2005
I have decided to dedicate this entire blog to a previously unreported press conference.
Bush: Any questions? Easy ones please.
Blair: I have one. A big one.
Bush: Oh, I'm sure mine is bigger than yours.
Blair: Why aren't you doing something about greenhouse gasses?
Bush: Simple. I don't need to. I don't have a greenhouse.
Blair: The thing is, I didn't, y'know, mean literally.
Bush: I get it. British humour. We don't understand that over here.
Blair: We're in London.
Bush: Yeah, I know. But I decided a while ago that you were part of my jurisdiction... You grow tomatoes in your greenhouses here, don't you? I love tomatoes. Yum.
Blair: But, y'see it's not a simple as that. it's not just tomatoes.
Bush: Don't interrupt me. I hadn't finished. Yum, yum. I had two more yums to say. Next question.
Blair: So what do we, y'know, have in common?
Bush: Our names both start with 'B'. We're both standing here. We're both relying on you to say something sensible.
Blair: I wouldn't be so hard on yourself. You just haven't been the same since you fell off that bike at Gleneagles.
Bush: Somebody tamponed with the brakes.
Blair: Mr Brown, my Chancellor. I didn't see it, but I'm sure it was him. I promise to have him neutered.
Bush: Next question please.
Blair: Why are you inviting questions? This is my press conference. And can we address the issues?
Bush: Sure, where are we sending them?
There endeth this blog. Stay tuned!