Computer, I salute you

25 August 2005
Did you know that your Windows Registry needs to be optimized regularly to prevent your computer slowing or crashing? When I first did a free scan with RegistryFix, I found over 800 Registry problems. I now sweep regularly and have a nice clean computer. The problem is that when you remove/update programs (including removing adware) bits of old programs remain in the Registry and make your computer run inefficiently. Why do I tell you this? Because I use RegistryFix myself and recommend it to you (true). Because if you click on the link to RegistryFix then buy their product, they pay me a 'finders fee' (also true). Of course, it's an outrage that I should try to extort money in this way and I therefore retract this entire paragraph unreservedly and insist that you do not click on this link: RegistryFix.
So why do I salute my computer? Because I am always amazed at what can be done on my humble little computer that not long ago would have had to be done by someone else at great cost - like photocopying or producing a professional quality brochure.
I do not salute the makers of a little shareware package I downloaded about six weeks ago that permanently wrote off my operating system, taking a lot of software with it. The shareware wasn't even something I particularly needed. Beware of all shareware as a viral sweep will not pick up glitches like the one that sunk my operating system without trace. Which, almost, gets me onto computer viruses.
Don't you think that Virus writers should be turned into animal feed? Perhaps not, as their sickness could be passed into the cow's milk to a new generation of virus writers. I once met a guy who boasted with a grin on his face that it would be very easy for him to create a virus if he wanted to. My dog was very grateful for what he thought was his usual tinned dog food for quite while after that.
If you believe the last sentence, and are so inclined, you will be in love with me by now. By which I refer to the curious phenomenon of death row inmates having distant lovers, attracted by the power and glamour of a dangerous and murderous convict. Such people are sad, dysfunctional people, or maybe they're just normal given that we as a society like to glamorise crime. Naturally, as I've opened a big topic here, this is an appropriate place to stop.
If today's title seems vaguely familiar, you may recall the outspoken MP George Galloway's televised public praise for Sadam Hussein when he visited and embraced the dictator: 'Sir, I salute you'.
There endeth this blog. Stay tuned!