Please Shout Quietly

3 September 2005
Arnie: I am more popular than you. That's a fact.
Bush: Ah, but I'm whole man. Not half machine.
Arnie: So am I.
Bush: No, I've seen you, in that documentary - about the future. I know what I'm talking about.
Arnie: That wasn't real. It was make-believe.
Bush: Now you're trying to trick me. The machine side of you. I'm sure the human side would take pity on me.
Arnie: No really, I'm real.
Bush: You couldn't possibly look like that if you were real. That face is just not possible.
Arnie: You're quite something.
Bush: Coming from a machine, I'll take that as a compliment.
Arnie: So what are you doing today?
Bush: I thought I might go paddling in the Mississippi. I brought my bucket and spade, so I can move a little sand. How about you?
Arnie: I've mobilised help from 30 different countries. I'm even driving an electric car.
Bush: Do you need a car? I though you just ran everywhere.
Arnie: How many times do I have to tell you, tell you, tell you, tell you. Abort 'tell you' loop.
Bush: You see? I was right.
Arnie: Just a leettle joke. I'm just as human as you.
Bush: Prove it. Fart.
Arnie: We're too beautiful to fart in California. Let me visit you in Texas.
Bush: What makes you think we fart in Texas?
Arnie: Everyone knows that Texans fart all the time.
Bush: That's ridiculous.
Arnie: Are you trying to argue you don't fart in Texas? No-one in Texas farts?
Bush: Well one or two people might, occassionally.
Arnie: Nonsense. How many times have you farted since you took up office?
Bush: Never.
Arnie: Of course you have.
Bush: Maybe once.
Arnie: Hundreds of times.
Bush: How do you know that?
Arnie: Public access to government files. The CIA keeps a record. There's 73 files. Only Clinton out-farted you.
Bush: How dare you. No Democrat can out-fart me.
Arnie: Oh no. You've let off another.
Bush: Well I, must be... Where's the oxygen? Pressure talking to you.
There endeth this blog. Stay tuned!